i am still here

kinda, mostly, through it all

i am still here
writing brilliant things in my mind
while 
scrubbing egg off pyrex
gently coaxing acrylic paint of my child’s shirt and shorts
deep cleaning the bathroom ahead of potty training

i am still here
reflecting on parenthood
while
folding a small tower of toddler shirts
digging out this summer’s water clothes of the closet
finally ditching the stroller on most of our outings

i am still here
noticing my baby become more of a kid
while
navigating a week of potty training
realizing what travel potty would be better for us
schlepping bags filled with library books to the car

i am still here
grieving so much from all sides
while
planning events at school
turning pages of a picture book in between bites of breakfast
dancing like a dinosaur before bedtime

i am still here 
trying to keep a part of myself alive
by
passing out food to my neighbors every week
reading game changer after a long day of parenting
listening to podcast while making dinner

i am still here
full
drained
tired
trying
grieving
existing 

(mostly)

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