april
a doozy of a month (for all of us)
a gentle sob and tight hug in the parking lot at school here is my baby’s childhood hardship here is my own a splash and exchange of toy boats the bubble pool of a soon-to-be departing friend i want the blue boat here’s the red boat a shaky, steady, yet loving tap on my breastbone in therapy paired with a shaky voice and rivers of snot everyone makes mistakes and so can i a delighted face i’ve never quite seen before in the back of a wagon at the park i love cotton candy! (your first time) can i have mas? asking tender and hard questions on the street corner of a home depot how do you hold all of this fear, this suffering, this pain? i cry, i step back, i keep going a tight grip on one handlebar in the park after school instead riding your scooter, choosing let’s run everybody! an extra long hug at a school gathering between parents i need this, i think you might too thank you, i really do a boppy cacophony of saxophones and drums at the community fest no words, just awe momma and toddler swaying to the mexican ska beats a bittersweet camaraderie in losing loved ones from one picnic blanket to another it’s been a really intense couple of weeks we’re glad we’re all together a happy smile and a determined run at school pick up, at gym day care mommaaaa! your body crashing into mine, no other words needed